Choices and Ask

I just finished reading, A Grace Disguised. I am glad that my thoughts are not unlike others that have suffered loss. Some of the things that stood out in my mind.....

I still have a long way to go in the grieving process.

I have this horrible feeling that I am alone,that no one understands, and no one cares. I think that after reading this book - people do care, but just like I did, before Denton's death - people don't want to be bothered by a situation, and until they make a conscious effort to be involved in a situation and they are willing to sacrifice time and energy then they normally "conveniently" forget what has happened to others. (That was a great run on sentence :)

So, I think that from now on I will ask myself if I can conscientiously disconnect from a situation, or tragedy without feeling guilty. If my answer is no, then I will understand that I will have to make a conscience effort to sacrifice with a willing and positive attitude. People in tragedy mode do not need help two hours, two days, or two weeks after the tragedy they need help two months, six months, a year, two years, three years......It's everyday that is hard - not just special days like mother's day, birthdays, anniversaries........It's harder six months after than it is two days after. I personally probably went six months on auto pilot - shock mode.

I know that there are a lot of people that I need to do things for, that I conveniently forget about, because it is an inconvenience........I will try to do much better.

I also began reading, I Will Carry You,which was sent by sweet Ella Brown Weaver! And I learned my lesson! I need to ask for help. I just need to ask - usually if I ask I get what I need. Why am I so stubborn. I don't need to deal with loosing Denton by myself. I also don't need to feel like I need to save the whole world by myself - other people want to help....Helping someone is a conscious choice to be inconvenienced, but with a joyous heart.

Prayers....
Thank you God for Avery and Denton. Thank you for Daniel. Thank you for my family and friends. Thank you for birds, flowers, mountains, and blue skies. Please wrap your arms around the mother who lost her baby this week and welcome that child into your arms. I am so saddened by this event, and hope that I can help in someway. Hug my baby Denton - I miss him so much!!!!!!!!Please heal or fix or answer my unspoken request, or give me some peace about it, and give me the strength to get help if needed. Please be with Katie and her family and give strength back to Granby and to their family. Please be with Callie, Jami, and Jason and their families. In your name I pray.