Accountability, One Thousand Gifts

I need some serious motivation to be productive! I am so thankful to be able to stay home with Addie, but she is so beautiful all I do is hold her and stare at her. I need to be a little more productive and feel like I am in the real world.

Yesterday, two beautiful friends, Mandy and Margi and I, started One Thousand Gifts through the incourage book club www.incourage.me/2011/02/one-thousand-gifts-1.html. The book starts out with a very dark and poignant story about the loss of children, which hits very close to my heart. I know Mandy and Margi think that I probably knew this is how the book started, but I had not read that far. I just thought it was a book of gratitude.....Any how...this is my attempt at following and making concrete my list of 1,000 things I am thankful for.

1. Avery - his sweet caring soul....oh and how he smells so good - boredom leads to spraying moms perfume....a SWEET memory
2. Denton - my beautiful angel that brought only joy to my life.
3. Addie - my beautiful rainbow child - who brought joy back to our broken lives!
4. Daniel - the father of my beautiful children and our provider...
5. Friends - Mandy, Margi, and Katie - for putting up with my sad heart and trying to continue to cultivate a friendship despite my bitterness and lack of hope/belief So, I am going to try to fight my way back to hope......its hard to accept things we don't have answers to when they ARE so life changing.
6. Addie's soft long beautiful arm
7. The crazy little bump in her ear that I DID NOT put there, both ears have it.
8. Avery went from a 40 to 108 on his spelling test despite his "terrible tummy and headache"....way to improve little buddy!
9. Birds
10. Mamaws and Papaws

Now for my list of goals!
Today...
1. Take down the Christmas Tree
2. Love Avery and Addie
3. Make Avery is favorite supper bowtie pasta

Tomorrow
Have faith and know that everything will be ok with Avery and his procedure. Be calm and love Avery and Addie.

Wednesday and beyond.......
1. Take care of Avery and Addie
2. Farm Bureau Article
2b.DGB tax letters
3. Finish addressing and mailing Addie's Announcements
4. Thank you notes - Amanda Willmore, Aunt Karen, Susan, Virginia, Margi, Beverly, the Brown Ladies,Bang Bang
5. Write Leila
6. Unspoken - will report later if I have success....
7. DGB 5 K Planning - Check out Striders, would welcome help from anyone
8. Find a traveling partner for Peacock Strides for SIDS
9. Call Stephanie, Tiny Handprints
10. Finish Crossstich for Denton and Avery
11. Start Crossstich for Addie
12. Make Addie a dress
13. Exercise - this should be higher on my to do list
14. Prayer journal, to record the answers to my prayers......answered or not....have gratitude and not resentment.
15. Work with Zip and take Avery to a horse show

I just needed to make a list for myself...Need to see that I am accomplishing some things.

So thankful for my three children, husband, and friends.

My feelings may not be seen on the outside, but I am thankful and blessed, I do feel gratitude for my MANY BLESSINGS, and I will strive to find grace even in situations that I would not have chosen, or that I would have changed the outcome of. STRIVE, STRIVE, STRIVE

Please keep Avery in your prayers tomorrow. Please also pray that Addie does not get sick, we have no choice other than to take her with us. So many things are the same as when Denton was born....Avery had his tonsils out when Denton was about eight weeks old. It is hard to face the possibility that something could happen to your child, and I know too well that things can. I am struggling with faith, so please lift us up in prayer.

God please keep Avery safe tomorrow, and give me strength to be calm and love Avery through this! (Prayer journal entry #1)